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FAITH AND SERVICE BY FR PREYE PAUL

Paul Preye

FAITH AND SERVICE: EMPOWERING CATHOLIC MEN TO LIVE OUT THEIR FAITH IN A SECULAR WORLD
By: Very Rev. Fr Preye Samson Paul

Email: preyepaul@gmail.com


(A lecture delivered on the occasion of the 6th biennial Benin Ecclesiastical Provincial Conference of the Catholic Men Organization of Nigeria on this day being Saturday 12th April, 2025 at the Pastoral Center, Patani, Delta State)

PROTOCOL
Dear and very beloved Catholic Men of the Benin Ecclesiastical Province, I am honoured to have the opportunity of welcoming you to the Catholic Diocese of Bomadi on the occasion of the Provincial Conference organized by the Catholic Men of the Benin Ecclesiastical Province held in the Holy Rosary Catholic Church, Patani. Let me also graciously extend my heartfelt gratitude to the almighty God for the gift of men/fatherhood to the Church and society. Special thanks to the Provincial Chaplain, V.R Fr Vincent Owoaka, and the Diocesan Chaplain, V.R. Fr Peter L. Brakaebi, the Provincial President, Mr Apologun Adewole, and his executives, as well as the Bomadi Diocesan President, Dr Godspower Odubo and his Executives and the local organizing committee ably led by Prof. Marcellinus Arhoghro, and his Secretary, Mr Joseph Adeleke and the entire Catholic Men of the Benin Ecclesiastical Province. I say a big thank you to you all for coming and for inviting me to be a keynote speaker in this august occasion.

As I stand before you today, I am filled with a lot of emotions; joy, love, and a bit of sadness. JOY, because I see the radiant faces of fathers who have dedicated their lives to nurturing life and faith. LOVE, because I know the depth of your sacrifice, patience, and unwavering commitment to your families and the Church. SADNESS, because I know that some men are irresponsible both in the family and the Church.

INTRODUCTION
Today, we gather to reflect on a topic that is profoundly crucial: “FAITH AND SERVICE: EMPOWERING CATHOLIC MEN TO LIVE OUT THEIR FAITH IN A SECULAR WORLD.” As we delve into this topic, I invite you to remember the countless moments of joy, the sleepless nights, the tears, the heartbreaks, and the triumphs that you have experienced in your preoccupation as fathers. In all, we give thanks to God, the Giver of our lives.

Let me affirm that you are always to be remembered in time past and even now that you are the unsung heroes of our time, the guardians of faith in the domestic Church, and the beacons of hope. You are the salt of the earth, preserving the flavour of God’s love and the light of the world, shining brightly for all to see and particularly in the family. Yet, we are certainly aware that you face challenges that seem insurmountable – the pressure to conform to societal norms, the struggle to balance work and family, and the pain of watching your children’s face growing up in a secular world that often seems hostile to our values as Christians. As fathers of this generation, you are called to live up to the expectations of your sacred vocation. Therefore, I enjoin you to avoid the pitfalls of an unhealthy competitive lifestyle and scandals that can tarnish your witness as fathers. Instead, strive to be trustworthy ambassadors in whatever responsibility that is entrusted to you as individuals or groups. It is a call to service as required by our faith.

This paper, therefore, will explore the challenges facing Catholic men, including mistrust, self-serving mentality, financial mismanagement, and infidelity. We will also examine the importance of faith and service in the Catholic tradition and provide examples of how Catholic men can model their lives after Jesus.

In the Epistle of James, we read, “Faith without works is dead” (James 2:26). Our faith is not just a personal conviction but a call to action. It is a call to serve others, just as Jesus served us. As Catholic men, we are called to follow in the footsteps of Jesus. We are called to live out our faith through service to others. This service can take many forms: visiting the elderly or simply being present to a friend in need. But our service must be rooted in faith. We must recognize that the person we are serving is not just a human being but a child of God, created in His image and likeness. We must see the face of Christ in the person we are serving.

As we serve others, let us not forget to honour those who have paved way for us. Let us offer gifts and support to our aged, sick, and retired members who have dedicated their lives to serving the Lord and His people. And as we present Honorary Awards to those who have demonstrated exceptional selflessness and commitment to putting their faith into action, let us also ensure that these awards are not bought by the awardees themselves. Such an act would undermine the very essence of the award and reduce it to a mere commodity. We must not allow our awards to be tainted by the unchristian attitude of buying one’s way to recognition. This would be a disservice to those who have genuinely made sacrifices for the growth of our faith. For instance, a notorious womanizer, a wife batterer (wife beater), a failure at home, and an abortion assistant to a girl in getting rid of pregnancy may want to buy an award simply because they have the money, 50,000 Naira or more, thus, depriving some others who may not afford such awards, but have genuinely made sacrifices for the growth of the faith. There is no grace attached to a stolen gift. We must explore better and genuine ways to raise funds for our association. Ways that do not compromise our values and principles.

THE CATHOLIC DEFINITION OF FAITH
In the Catholic tradition, faith is understood as a theological virtue that enables us to believe in God and to trust in His loving providence. As the Catechism of the Catholic Church states, “Faith is the theological virtue by which we believe in God and believe all that he has said and revealed to us, and that Holy Church proposes for our belief, because He is truth itself” (CCC 1814). More so, F-A-I-T-H is Forwarding All Issues To Heaven.

THE CATHOLIC DEFINITION OF SERVICE
Service, in the Catholic context, is an expression of our faith in action. It involves serving others, especially those in need, as a way of serving God.

As Jesus taught, “Whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me” (Matthew 25:40).

THE IMPORTANCE OF FAITH AND SERVICE
In the Catholic tradition, faith and service are two sides of the same coin. Faith and service are like the two wings of a bird, which enables it to fly to its destination. Without either wing, the bird will struggle to reach its full potential and will unable to soar to great heights. That is why St James said, “Faith without work is dead.” Faith is understood as a theological virtue that enables us to believe in God and to trust in His loving providence. Service, on the other hand, is an expression of our faith in action. It involves serving others, especially those in need, as a way of serving God. As Jesus taught, “Whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me” (Matthew 25:40).

CHALLENGES FACING CATHOLIC MEN
I know that it is hard to be a man of faith and service in a secular world. Even in the Church, the men are less appreciated, and some men are heartbroken, and they can not speak out. Despite the importance of faith and service in the Catholic tradition, many Catholic men are struggling to live out their faith in their daily lives. Some of the challenges facing Catholic men include:

  1. Mistrust: A lack of trust among members can hinder collaboration and progress.
  2. Self-serving mentality: The “it’s my turn” philosophy can lead to individuals prioritizing personal gain over collective well-being.
  3. Financial mismanagement: Misappropriation of funds and lack of accountability can undermine the organization’s integrity.
  4. Entitlement culture: Some individuals may expect more benefits without contributing equally, creating an imbalance.
  5. Ego and sensitivity: Excessive attachment to respect can lead to hurt feelings, annoyance, and even disassociation from the organization.
  6. Desperation for power: Some individuals may become overly ambitious and desperate to hold offices, leading to unchristian behaviour and even occultic practices.
  7. Weak prayer life: A lack of spiritual nourishment can affect individuals’ personal growth and contributions to the organization.
  8. Double life: Discrepancies between public and private behaviour can damage credibility and relationships.
  9. Unhealthy relationships: Domineering or oppressive behaviour in personal relationships can harm others and create a toxic environment.
  10. Lack of mentorship: Neglecting to guidance and supporting younger minds can hinder their development and the organization’s future.
  11. Infidelity and broken marriages: The alarming rate of infidelity and broken marriages among Catholic men is a significant challenge to our faith and our families. As Catholic men, we are called to be faithful husbands and fathers, modeling our lives after the Holy Family. We must prioritize our marriages and families, working to build strong, healthy relationships that reflect the love and commitment of Christ.

ST JOSEPH: A MODEL FOR CATHOLIC MEN
As Catholic men strive to live out their faith through service, they can look to St Joseph, the patron saint of fathers, as a model for their lives. St Joseph was a responsible husband and protector of his home, who demonstrated great faith and trust in God’s Providence. Below are his qualities: Firstly, St Joseph was a just man, secondly, he was a man who did not take joy in seeing the pain of others, thirdly, he was obedient to God at his own expense, fourthly, he was a man of Faith, and fifthly, he was not a lazy man. He was industrious as a carpenter. Therefore, he is a shining example of what it means to be a man of faith and service.

INVEST IN YOURSELF AND CHERISH YOUR FAMILY
As men, we often find ourselves caught in the midst of family, church, and societal pressures. We may feel like we are expected to be everything to everybody, sacrificing our own needs and desires for the sake of others. But the truth is, we can’t pour from an empty cup. It is essential to prioritize our own well-being, taking care of ourselves physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

DON’T DIE FOR THE SAKE OF OTHERS
It’s time to recognize that we can’t be everything to all. We cannot save everyone, fix every problem, or make everyone happy. Even Jesus who died for our sake is not being valued by some people. So, it is okay to say no, to set boundaries, and to prioritize our own needs. Remember, with or without you, people will survive. Do the much you can, and leave the rest for God.

INVEST IN YOURSELF
As men, we often focus on investing in our families, especially our children. While this is important, it is equally essential to invest in ourselves. We need to prioritize our own growth, development, and well-being so that we can be the best versions of ourselves for our loved ones. This includes taking care of our physical health, pursuing our passions, and nurturing our spiritual lives.

THE REALITY OF OLD AGE
As men, we often think we will remain younger and stronger, but the reality is that we are all getting older. Old age is a reality that we can’t ignore. It is a period where we will harvest the dividends of our lives, says Dr Charles Apoki and it’s essential to prepare for it. We need to invest in ourselves so that we can enjoy our golden years with dignity, purpose, and fulfillment.

OUR CHILDREN WILL PRIORITIZE THEIR OWN FAMILIES
As men, we often assume that our children will take care of us in our old age. While this may be true for some, it is essential to recognize that our children will prioritize their own families before us. They will have their own responsibilities, challenges, and priorities, and we can’t expect them to be our sole source of support. As a father, it is disheartening to realize that most children may forget the sacrifices you made for them, instead magnifying your flaws. Sadly, most people have short memories, they easily forget the good you did for them.

We need to be prepared to take care of ourselves and to find fulfilment in our own lives; your children may disappoint you in your lowest moments in life. In fact, another people’s children especially step children may be the ones to help you in most cases.

OLD AGE DOES NOT FORGIVE
Old age is a period that does not forgive. It is a time when we will reap the consequences of our choices, and it’s essential to make the most of it. We need to prioritize our health, our relationships, and our personal growth so that we can enjoy our golden years with no regrets.

TAKE CARE OF YOUR PEACE OF MIND
As men, we often struggle with stress, anxiety, and pressure. We need to prioritize our peace of mind, taking care of our mental health and well-being. This includes setting boundaries, practicing self-care, and seeking support when we need it. We need to recognize that our peace of mind is essential to our overall well-being and that it’s okay to prioritize it.

THE CONSEQUENCES OF NEGLECTING YOURSELF
If we don’t invest in ourselves, we may find ourselves abandoned by our children in our old age. They may view us as a failure and a burden rather than a loving parent who deserves respect and care. In some cases, they may even resort to hurtful accusations, such as calling us wizard(s).

THE IMPORTANCE OF CHERISHING YOUR WIFE
One of the most effective ways to ensure a positive relationship with your children in old age is to cherish and celebrate your wife in their presence. By doing so, you will show them the importance of respecting and loving their mother, which can help to build a strong bond between them. Loving their mother is one of the best gifts you can give to your children.

THE CONSEQUENCES OF HURTING YOUR WIFE
On the other hand, if you hurt or mistreat your wife, she may directly or indirectly use your children against you in your old age. Unfortunately, most men do not realize that a woman’s fight is for the future, where her children will continue the fight for her. A man’s fight, on the other hand, is often for the now. So, do not be careless in relating with your wife. Do not underestimate her powers. This can lead to a strained relationship with your children and a lifetime of regret. Sometimes, the children will build houses for their mothers and neglect their fathers, while in some cases, the children will only build houses after the death of their fathers for a befitting burial, not a befitting life condition for their fathers. So, dear men, please take heed of this message. Invest in yourself, prioritize your relationships, and cherish your wife. By doing so, you will build a strong foundation for a happy and fulfilling life, and you will be more likely to have a positive relationship with your children in your old age. Sadly, some men who hurt, mistreat or abuse their wives still expect to be served food by them, blissfully unaware that their life could literally be in their wife’s hands – or rather, on their plate of soup. And if she spares his life, she might just make him pay in the long run, frustrating his old age when he is most vulnerable. A woman’s fight is not just for the present, it is a strategic battle for the future.

CONCLUSION
Dear brothers, I want to leave you with a powerful image. The beauty of a candle is not in its shape, size, or colour, but in its ability to burn itself out to dispel darkness. It is in serving its purpose that the candle becomes beautiful. Your beauty as a man is not in the clothes, shoes, or cars you have, but in breaking yourself for the good of humanity. It is in being a gift and blessing to the Church that you become truly beautiful. Be a man not just from the Church but for the Church. Defend the Faith without compromise. Be a quintessential example of what it means to be a Christian man.

Ultimately, the success of this conference depends on what you make of it. I pray and wish that you will return home transformed, renewed, and empowered to live out your sacred vocation as fathers, husbands, and sons of God.

Once again, thank you for inviting me to be a guest speaker. Be assured of my prayers.

CITATION OF VERY REV. FR PREYE SOMSON PAUL (THE GUEST SPEAKER)
Written by: Mr. Joseph Adeleke (Moderator of the lecture)
 
It is my distinct pleasure to introduce our esteemed guest speaker for today’s occasion, Very Rev. Fr. Preye Samson Paul, a young and promising priest of the Catholic Diocese of Bomadi, Nigeria. He was born on the 14th of October, 1991 and got ordained a Roman Catholic Priest on the 31st of August, 2019 by Most Rev. Hyacinth Egbebo MSP. With a remarkable array of academic and pastoral achievements, Fr. Preye has consistently demonstrated his dedication to the service of the Lord and the Catholic Church.

Fr. Preye graduated from the Major Seminary of All Saints, Uhiele-Ekpoma, Edo State, in June 2019, with a Bachelor of Arts degree in Philosophy and a Bachelor of Theology degree. His academic prowess and spiritual fervor paved the way for his ordination as a Roman Catholic Priest on August 31, 2019, by His Lordship, Most Rev. Hyacinth Egbebo, MSP, Bishop of the Catholic Diocese of Bomadi.

Following his ordination, Fr. Preye was appointed as Assistant Priest of St. Joseph Catholic Church, Agudama-Epie, Bayelsa State. He subsequently served as the Bishop’s Secretary and later rose to the esteemed position of Chancellor of Bomadi Diocese, a testament to his exceptional leadership skills and dedication to the diocese. Notably, he was probably the youngest Chancellor in Africa, if not the world. Additionally, he was the Diocesan Coordinator of the Propagation of Faith (POF) and the Diocesan Director of the Pontifical Mission Societies (PMS), Nigeria.

Fr. Preye has served as the pioneer Parish Priest of St. Joseph Catholic Church, Tuomo, Delta State, and is currently the priest-in-charge of Our Lady of Fatima Catholic Church, Okarki, Rivers State. He is also the Chaplain of the Catholic Catechists Association, Bomadi Diocese.

Fr. Preye is the pioneer Administrator and Director of the defunct St. Francis De Sales Catechetical Institute, now the School of the Faith, a Vatican-accredited catechetical institute in Bomadi Diocese. He is a visiting lecturer at the Noviciate Formation Houses of the Missionary Sisters of the Blessed Sacrament, Sagbama, Bayelsa State, and Sisters of Our Lady Star of the Sea Congregation, Patani, Delta State.

Fr. Preye is creatively gifted, as evidenced in the leadership positions he held not only in the Major Seminary as Light Prefect and the then President of the Enwisdomization Academic Forum International but even in his Diocese. He is gentle, humble, caring, humorous, pastorally conscious and disciplined.

Fr. Preye is a motivational speaker and writer, and sometimes his friends call him “Orator”. He has been an invitee for several conventions, seminars/workshops, and paper presentations in academic and non-academic fora.

Fr. Preye was awarded Best Short Story Writer of the Year 2014 in the Major Seminary of All Saints, Ekpoma, Edo State. He has to his credit: Awards of Excellence, articles published in both national and international academic journals and magazines (including online), and some life-changing reflections in religious bulletins and others.

By God’s grace, we have every confidence that Fr. Preye will do justice to the lecture he will deliver to us today. Remain calm and be blessed.